The Finger Wag

Instead of just banning Twitter 90 minutes before a game until after the media interviews, I propose a new rule for the NFL.

Just simply deactivate the Twitter accounts for players on all the teams under .500.   That will avoid inspirational messages like this, from Keith Bulluck of the 1-6 Titans.

kbull53

(keith bulluck)

Went 2 bed early las nite & still drag'n this morn...maybe I went 2 hard on Margarita Monday. Nah there's no such thing as go'n 2 hard On 96 days ago. from Twittelator

mw55

(Michael Waltrip)

Everyone keeps staring at me. I think they know who I am. On 109 days ago. from UberTwitter

Trust me, no one knows who you are.

mw55

(Michael Waltrip)

No wait. Check that. My pants were unzipped. Darnnit. On 109 days ago. from UberTwitter

There we go.

I attempted to try and tie this into some cool story about Waltrip or NASCAR but that’s almost impossible because the lack of anything cool by either party. So here is the most badass thing Waltrip’s ever done – from Wikipedia

On Saturday, April 7th of 2007 the Catawba County, North Carolina Highway Patrol reported that Waltrip was driving approximately 70 miles per hour in a 55 mile-per-hour zone when at about 1:50 a.m. he lost control of his Toyota Land Cruiser which resulted in missing a curve. After going off of the road’s right side Waltrip then veered back across the pavement then onto the road’s left shoulder. After sliding sideways his vehicle collided with a utility pole resulting in an rollover with the vehicle finally resting on its side. A neighbor of Waltrip’s testified that she witnessed Michael crawl out of the top of the vehicle (at that angle the passenger doors) then leave the scene of the accident barefoot, carrying his shoes, through the woods on the mile journey to his home.

mw55

(Michael Waltrip)

Everyone keeps staring at me. I think they know who I am. On 109 days ago. from UberTwitter

Trust me, no one knows who you are.

mw55

(Michael Waltrip)

No wait. Check that. My pants were unzipped. Darnnit. On 109 days ago. from UberTwitter

There we go.

I attempted to try and tie this into some cool story about Waltrip or NASCAR but that’s almost impossible because the lack of anything cool by either party. So here is the most badass thing Waltrip’s ever done – from Wikipedia

On Saturday, April 7th of 2007 the Catawba County, North Carolina Highway Patrol reported that Waltrip was driving approximately 70 miles per hour in a 55 mile-per-hour zone when at about 1:50 a.m. he lost control of his Toyota Land Cruiser which resulted in missing a curve. After going off of the road’s right side Waltrip then veered back across the pavement then onto the road’s left shoulder. After sliding sideways his vehicle collided with a utility pole resulting in an rollover with the vehicle finally resting on its side. A neighbor of Waltrip’s testified that she witnessed Michael crawl out of the top of the vehicle (at that angle the passenger doors) then leave the scene of the accident barefoot, carrying his shoes, through the woods on the mile journey to his home.

VernonDavis85

(Vernon Davis)

Got a meeting, then im going to catch a few balls and get a massage On 111 days ago. from Sidekick

When your coach is famous for dropping his pants to motivate players, I’m going to suggest using the phrase “catch a few passes” instead.

When I first read about Balloon Boy I wondered what retired Buffalo Bill Thurman Thomas would have to say about it…

thurmanthomas

(Thurman Thomas)

2 reality shows,this balloon,and they take there kids to chase tornadoes!!!! On 114 days ago. from Echofon

thurmanthomas

(Thurman Thomas)

Balloon family needs there butt beat in public On 114 days ago. from Echofon

I love the internet

Here’s Larry Brown, Redskins running back from 1969-1976:

LarryBrown43

(Larry Brown)

#redskins Regardless of all the noise, the Redskins (players) have a financial responsibility to play at a higher level. On 116 days ago. from web

Larry is right.  The Redskins players owe the fans to continue putting out an effort, despite what looks to be a lost season.

Unforunately, that’s  no way to inspire players to play well on the football field.  And if Zorn is using that for his motivational speech, it’s not going to go well.  Besides, if that method did work, Daniel Snyder would be the best owner in the league instead of the worst.

But Larry Brown may not have been paying much attention to this year’s football.  He just noticed this yesterday:

LarryBrown43

(Larry Brown)

#redskins The airwaves have turned quite negative today, I hope the Redskins are listening. On 116 days ago. from web

It’s been negative for a long time, Larry.  I would say since 1999.

Did you ever see that episode of The Office when Michael Scott promises everyone a big surprise at the end of the day?  Then it turns out he had nothing planned and walked out awkwardly with everyone watching him?

AndrewMBogut

(Andrew Bogut)

Exciting announcement coming soon for Bucks fans in Milwaukee! On 116 days ago. from web

Stay tuned…

This almost went up as a “Random Athlete Tweet of the Day”

D_Stallworth18

(Donte' Stallworth)

What's most common dollar bill the avg person will see? Now tell me on back of that bill what's uncommon 2see in states... any thoughts why? On 117 days ago. from Echofon

I assumed Stallworth’s house arrest had made him go off his rocker.  But I checked his page because I wanted to find out exactly what is “uncommon 2see in the states”.

Donte’s previous tweet?

D_Stallworth18

(Donte' Stallworth)

check out this article... Biden on Afghanistan---> http://bit.ly/QADOq On 117 days ago. from web

Also, Donte’s twitter page covered with pink ribbons for breast cancer awareness.  http://twitter.com/D_Stallworth18/

We’ll have to keep an eye on Donte… despite his troubles, and his oddball dollar bill tweet, he seems like a smart guy.

Harp41

(Roman Harper)

RT @BGSport Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. On 117 days ago. from web

This is a good thought… but is it really fit for re-tweeting?

I didn’t think so.  Therefore I traced this re-tweet back an few levels and found something amazing.

I found an absolute goldmine of inspiration tweets.  Tweets that read like a unicorn crapped them out onto a “Quote of the Day” calendar and sold it to Oprah’s publishing company.

And it comes from a man we could all learn alot from…

And that man is LL Cool J.

Aside from teaching us that ladies do, in fact, love cool jams (we got that right from the name… he’s been giving us lessons since birth) and from proving that if you’re writing a song for a movie about killer sharks, you can actually use the chorus “Deepest/ Bluest/ My hat is like a shark’s fin”, LL has taken it upon himself to enrich our lives.

Take a look for yourself www.twitter.com/llcoolj

It goes on and on. Every few hours.  And there are no “non-inspirational” tweets to be seen.

Twitter needs to start a new verification level called “Verified Schmaltz”.

Footz95

(Darrell Reid)

#Question: Is It Worse 2 Sleep Wit Someone Ur Friend "Messes" Wit Or Sleep Wit Someone Who's Married? I Need Answers Tweeples... On 118 days ago. from twidroid

This is why the Bronco’s 5-0 start is just luck.  Where is a young man on this team to turn to when he needs a question such as this answered?

Brandon Marshall has recently gotten his act together, but he’s clearly not one to be teaching life lessons.

Kyle Orton, too, has focused his game and trimmed his beard, but is he really that far removed from his party days?

Even Coach McDaniel’s friends are just getting to that age when  all his friends start getting married.  Even if Darrell Reid had time to have a heart-to-heart with McDaniels between bachelor parties this wedding season, he’s just a kid himself.

This team is simply too young.

Perhaps Darrell Reid can find a mentor, a life-coach so to speak, on another team.  Now the Patriots and Bill Belichick, that’s a team and coach that knows how to play with honor and to respect the fidelity of marriage.