The Finger Wag

Instead of just banning Twitter 90 minutes before a game until after the media interviews, I propose a new rule for the NFL.

Just simply deactivate the Twitter accounts for players on all the teams under .500.   That will avoid inspirational messages like this, from Keith Bulluck of the 1-6 Titans.

kbull53

(keith bulluck)

Went 2 bed early las nite & still drag'n this morn...maybe I went 2 hard on Margarita Monday. Nah there's no such thing as go'n 2 hard On 126 days ago. from Twittelator

When I first read about Balloon Boy I wondered what retired Buffalo Bill Thurman Thomas would have to say about it…

thurmanthomas

(Thurman Thomas)

2 reality shows,this balloon,and they take there kids to chase tornadoes!!!! On 145 days ago. from Echofon

thurmanthomas

(Thurman Thomas)

Balloon family needs there butt beat in public On 145 days ago. from Echofon

I love the internet

Here’s Larry Brown, Redskins running back from 1969-1976:

LarryBrown43

(Larry Brown)

#redskins Regardless of all the noise, the Redskins (players) have a financial responsibility to play at a higher level. On 146 days ago. from web

Larry is right.  The Redskins players owe the fans to continue putting out an effort, despite what looks to be a lost season.

Unforunately, that’s  no way to inspire players to play well on the football field.  And if Zorn is using that for his motivational speech, it’s not going to go well.  Besides, if that method did work, Daniel Snyder would be the best owner in the league instead of the worst.

But Larry Brown may not have been paying much attention to this year’s football.  He just noticed this yesterday:

LarryBrown43

(Larry Brown)

#redskins The airwaves have turned quite negative today, I hope the Redskins are listening. On 147 days ago. from web

It’s been negative for a long time, Larry.  I would say since 1999.

Here’s Trumaine McBride, a young cornerback for the Bears…

trumaine26

(Trumaine McBride)

I want some PotBelly's.... On 162 days ago. from Echofon

And then eight minutes later…

trumaine26

(Trumaine McBride)

We need a Sonic's in the area!! On 162 days ago. from Echofon

I don’t know about you, but when I get a particular craving it sticks with me until it’s satisfied.

But this inspires two rants.  The first is Wikipedia.  Since I am not the Chicago Bears GM, or an annoying Bears fan that acts like he’s better than you because he memorizes the teams 5th cornerback and then forms some sort of opinion on them like, “I really like that kid,”  I had to look McBride up.

Here’s what Wikipedia says about his current status:

“After suffering a knee sprain in the 2009 season opener against the Green Bay Packers, McBride was waived/injured by the Bears and subsequently placed on injured reserve.”

What in the world does that mean?

Second, Potbelly Sandwiches are a completely worthless addition to the American menu.

(Or is it “Potbelly Sandwich Works”? If it is, I’m even madder.  I checked, it is.)

You know how there’s that guy who starts a paperclip factory or something stupid and gets rich.  So you think, “Business is easy, just make something and sell it.”   But then you see how 9 out of 10 businesses fail in the first year.

So which is it?  Because I know of tons of resturaunts that go out of business, but Potbelly spreads like wildfire?  They have done nothing creative whatsoever.  They simply make sandwiches and have a clever name.  End of story.  The sandwiches are nothing special.  Overpriced.  Surly customer service.

So is business easy or hard?  Are all those failing businesses run by idiots that fall for Ponzi schemes or instruct the custodians to dry the floors with cash from the register or something?

Should I open Fatboy Sandwich Factory and give you an undersized Ham on Wheat for $8.50?  I’m hungry now.  Thanks, Trumaine.

Update: Ok, first Sonic and Potbelly.  Then a few minutes later, Trumaine tweeted again.  It might be time to worry about the Bears conditioning program…

trumaine26

(Trumaine McBride)

I can finally get an upper body workout in today.. It's been 2 weeks since I've touched a weight! On 162 days ago. from Echofon

Though after Stafon Johnson, I’m deathly afraid of weightlifting.

LaGrangeRover16

(Wesley Woodyard)

some1 just called,aim'd and even texted me. no i didnt answer i'm on twitter leave me alone and besides im on a 24 hr date. poof get gone On 162 days ago. from web

Wesley Woodyard is fast becoming my favorite tweeting athlete.

Also, a suggestion for Wesley:  Just edit out  “I’m on Twitter” and you’re tweet would make perfect sense.  But with that phrase in there, the whole thing devolves into nonsense.

LaGrangeRover16

(Wesley Woodyard)

If I focus on that then dat means I can't focus on this money. So I'll pass sorry fa you On 168 days ago. from Tweed

I don’t know what this means, but can you use “that” and “dat” in the same sentence?

I bet if you checked into it, you’d find out that Wesley Woodyard wasn’t even from the streets, he’s went to some rich kid prep school where they teach the word “that” to all the students.

Or maybe not.

redskinsblog

(Matt Terl)

Clinton Portis is officially on Twitter: @26clintonportis On 169 days ago. from TweetDeck

Whoa Mama!  If this athlete’s tweets are anything like his press conferences, we’re in for some entertainment.

How can you create and portray a fictional character in 140 characters?  Clinton Portis will find out.

Also, how was Clinton Portis not one of the very first athlete twitterers?

In related news, we’re looking into purchasing thefingerwag.clintonportis.com because this guy is going to be hilarious.  He develops comedy at the highest level:

They actually air this on TV in the DC area, by the way.  No word on how Chris Cooley’s cotton shorts have affected used car sales just yet.  Also credit Antwaan Randle El for injecting a quick safey lesson where it was wholey unnecessary.

kbull53

(keith bulluck)

5hrs till kickoff...jus lay'n here think'n bout all the plays I'm gonna make this season. It's about 2 go down...The General has spoken On 181 days ago. from Twittelator

I have no idea why Keith Bulluck calls himself “The General” as best I know he has never been involved in a war on foreign land or even a skirmish but he does bring up a valid point. The NFL season is here.

For many of us this is a time of great excitement, the NFL truly is this country’s main sport. This week, more than any week of the year, every fan of sport is filled with hope. Every team is 0-0 and the NFL is full of parity, this was never proved more than this year’s past superbowl with the freakin’ Arizona Cardnals made it to the big game. The NFL turns casual sports fans into fanatical beings obsessed with the fantasy football or office survivor pools.

It is a shame that all this is over shadowed.

For today is the first day of TheFingerWag.com, the latest and the greatest of them all. So as Keith Bulluck “lay’n think’n bout all the plays” he is going to make. I shall do some lay’n and some think’n about TheFingerWag.com and what we plan to do and where we plan to go.

As I am sure you tell we are focused a lot on Twitter, this is not by mistake. Today more than ever athlete’s have access to the fans and it’s been observed that they are quite ridiculous most of the time and we as fans feed off this. We love having them tweet, update a facebook status, ustream their day, whatever. We have spent our lives trying to get closer to the guys on “our team.” We live and die with each touchdown, each out, or each clutch 3-pointer. So this is where we come in, to present to you the athlete – in it’s purist form the way they intend their message to get out.

For better or for worse.